Ever sit down and list those things that could have made you a million bucks if only - - - ? Think of some of the statements made on t-shirts, for example. Early on in our marriage, my wife actually wore a sweatshirt I got for her that had lettered on the front, “Eat your heart out. I’m married!” My son has a t-shirt that says, “VOTE FOR PEDRO.” He has no idea who Pedro is or what he was trying to get elected to, but the t-shirt was cheap. The one I have never seen that I think would sell well would read, “SMASHES SPIDERS BAREFOOT.” One of my antics that my wife wishes I would grow out of is, when meeting someone with a shirt or jacket that has the logo, “B.U.M.” on it, is to ask them why their mother named them “Bum?”
Which brings to mind the boy who came home after a week at Boy Scout camp and was a little upset with his mother. She had dutifully attached or written his name to all of his clothing except his undershorts. Seems that some of the boys had been calling him “Fruit of the Loom,” which was the only name on his shorts, all week.