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Ever sit down and list those things that could have made you a million bucks if only - - - ? Think of some of the statements made on t-shirts, for example. Early on in our marriage, my wife actually wore a sweatshirt I got for her that had lettered on the front, “Eat your heart out. I’m married!” My son has a t-shirt that says, “VOTE FOR PEDRO.” He has no idea who Pedro is or what he was trying to get elected to, but the t-shirt was cheap. The one I have never seen that I think would sell well would read, “SMASHES SPIDERS BAREFOOT.” One of my antics that my wife wishes I would grow out of is, when meeting someone with a shirt or jacket that has the logo, “B.U.M.” on it, is to ask them why their mother named them “Bum?”

Which brings to mind the boy who came home after a week at Boy Scout camp and was a little upset with his mother. She had dutifully attached or written his name to all of his clothing except his undershorts. Seems that some of the boys had been calling him “Fruit of the Loom,” which was the only name on his shorts, all week.

Late summer and early fall is one of my favorite times of the year. You can feel a literal change in the air with warm, sunny days and cool, crisp nights. I love watching the harvest in the fields and seeing the changing colors of the leaves.

In 1953 Henry Ford’s outfit built a marvelous Mercury automobile. It was the last year of the famous flathead V-8 engine, and in the Mercury it had 255 cubic inches; in comparison, its cheaper Ford cousin only had 239 cubic inches.

I used to have a chainsaw that ran really well. I still have it, but it has not functioned for some time now. I took it in for an estimate and they told me it was an odd brand (Sachs-Dolmar), and they did not have any idea where to get the parts. They also told me that the piston and cylinder were scored. Then they wanted me to pay them for the time they spent deciding that the guys who made my chainsaw were smarter than they were.