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The punny farm

Erica Louder for Progressive Forage Published on 08 January 2021

For the first blog of the year, I thought I should include a few jokes – you know, for kits and gaggles. It’s been a tough year, and I think we could all use a few “calfs” (I warned you – watch those puns). I’ve been hearing a lot of jokes about sheep I thought I could share. I started telling them to my dog to test them out, but she’s “herd” them all. I tried telling them to the cows next, but they were just “laughing stock.”

Then I thought I ought to tell a few hay jokes, this is Progressive Forage after all. But my mom says that’s not polite; I should say “hello” to the jokes. The whole joke thing almost came to “knot” because the internet connection at my farm is really sketchy (you know, the rural broadband issue), so I took the modem to the barn. There I had a more “stable” connection. So, here goes my best punny farm jokes. I hope you laugh at them. After all, farming is in our nature.

  • Did you hear about the magic tractor? It kept turning into fields. It wasn’t just the magic tractors on that farm, the fields were a maize.

  • My mom thought we should make a donation to the church. I agreed, but told her, “Udder no circumstances will my farm buildings be turned into a convent. Barn nun.”

  • I know you all think forage farmers have it worse, but remember the grain farmers. They barley survive, wheat to wheat.

  • This job isn’t for everyone, but it’s for me. Hay, it’s in my jeans. I just live by the seeds of my plants and get to be my own boss. I’m the C-I-E-I-O.

  • And on that note, they say hay is hard to make. But it seems pretty cut and dried to me.

  • Like I said, it’s been a tough year. But I don’t think the bankrupt ranchers can complain. They ain’t got no beef. But maybe that is a miss-steak to say. I’d hate to raise their mire.

  • Before 2020 people didn’t trust agriculture. They thought the whole business was seedy. But now Forbes is reporting farming as a respected profession. It’s about time. Farmers are out standing in their field.

  • The cowgirl had great calves, but she wanted nothing to do with the farmer, so he was forced to tractor. It was a scandal, but I bet there is more than meets the sty with that story.

  • I was arguing with my neigh-bor the other day. He raises horses. I told him the horse business was udder nonsense. He got so mad at me he threw a chicken at me. I said, “Hold up there, them are fighting birds.”

Well, with that I better finish this up. I’m afraid it’s turning into hogwash. But just remember, you didn’t hear these from me; I’d hate to ruin my writer’s reputation. Keep it quiet, because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.  end mark

Erica Ramsey Louder is a freelance writer based in Idaho.

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